She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
