Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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