i just google imaged poop.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
