His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
