U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
