haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
