You don't have asthma, your pregnant
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
