yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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