Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
