You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
