My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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