Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
