I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
