It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I need to calm my uterus...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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