I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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