So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
