real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
