Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
