Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
