stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Mom said you looked used
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Drunk is not a location!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
