A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
