dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
