You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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