Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
