i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
