I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
