kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
