I'm eating all of the evidence.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize