the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
