Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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