I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
