Please, let me fuck your mom
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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