You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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