Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
