I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
