Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
