vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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