Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
