he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
