haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
