You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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