we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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