I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
