Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
