tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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