The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
