gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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