So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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