So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
