Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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