how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
