Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
my liver is dry heaving
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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