Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
