he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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