I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
