On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
